Post by CASPER on Feb 4, 2005 23:54:18 GMT -5
Long ago in a galaxy far far away.
The Black Naboo's " Necro-chrome " polished finish reflects the alien stars of uncharted space.
{ Hardly unusual as ~ * Kaz'Par*The Gray * ~ is commonly know to venture on these extended
Deep space walk abouts..}
However as we "The Voyeur" soon see ; This is not to be his average adventure ...
Fine blond hairs prickle at the force trained bounty hunters neck as he says aloud
" I got a bad feeling ".. A moment later the modified Naboo cruiser's alarms scream of a
blood feud violation !
Maintainace droids report that an " Unknown force had cut through booth the ships respectable primary
& enhanced secondary shields, seizing the hyperdrives & all navigational thrusters as if they had been locked
in carbonite .."
The Black Naboo drifts for only a moment before an equally alien force surrounds the ship
pulling it through the atmosphere of an evergreen forested planet & settles the cruiser gently down in a small clearing, Where the bay doors open as if of their own accord, extending the loading ramp onto a fresh powdery
carpet of virgin snow..
All attempts to regain the ship control fail as Kaz' & a host of skilled droids scurry to no avail..
Resigned to meet his fate face to face, Kaz'Par then calms his soul & ignites 2 of his 4 Light Saber Boomerangs. Then steps into the clearing.. What he sees next would haunt his most jaded soul..
Small shambling shadows scuttle about the underbrush .. Kaz'Par reaches out with the force..,
& raises an eyebrow ..?.. There is an odd sentient benevolence in these " Toys ! ? !....
Kaz'Par's jaw drops in disbelief as a mangled menagerie of ill made playthings gather about him..
The toys sing & dance about their misfit tribulations until Kaz' doubts his sanity & demands " What The Monkey Shank is go'n ON !!?!
To this a lispy Jack in the Box named "Gaylord" suggests " May-haps ti's time Kaz'Par *'Rrahf !, metz the Leader of mizzfits Toyzzza ?"
With all the balanced Logic the Force could provide Kaz'Par Resists the urge to force destruct the cavorting abominations.., & simply insists " Y'all lead the way"...
Through the pristine forest the apprehensive bounty hunter is led to a great clearing where a towering pine is a glow with other worldly lights of all colors & blinking cadences, soo varied, that for a moment Kaz'Par must fight off a light induced epileptic fit ..
thankfully Kaz' sees a figure emerge from the hollow of the great trees trunk, it appears soo twisted, Kaz'Par is forced to blink in disbelief, thus saving him from a twitchy madness..
The toy land leader was soon to be announced as "The I'll made plushy: Upside down sown Yoda head"...
~ * Upside down sown Yoda Head Plushy * ~
Told Kaz'Par a sorrowful tale of how all the misfit toys from across the multi verse are called by the forces of :
*HanaKwanzishPaganX-MassSolestas-*Breath*-Festavus for the rest of us*, Here to "The Planet of Misfit Toys",
This was to be " The Year when by the light of the full moon" The Most Peaceful Jedi Master of Peace loving Masters "Santa Claus" would come & place each & every mis made factory defect outcast toy in it's proper home.. But the great bringer of Holiday cheer was ambushed & now all their hopes & dreams are held captive in the Winter Palace.. "*
~ * Kaz'Par*The Gray * ~ Growls " & what has this spittle Ta do with ME !?! I care not for y'all fluff & stuff !
I got a state of the Mother Spong'n STATE O' Da ART STARSHIP, grounded over there, & why ! Cause y'all Fugly toys can't find yer Tea Party ??!!?? "
The army of mis made toys clamor in offense, but the Yoda plushy quickly quiets them by saying..
" Emm, upset you are, imagine how we feel, yes, Hmm ? 100 year been here have I.. Tonight was to be the night we all were to find homes, yes.."
Kaz' interrupts " Yeah Yeah I get it , It bites to be a fugly toy, nobody wants yer shank for the holidays, But why am I here ?"
Yoda plushy trys to look imposing ,{ Understandably difficult for a toy with an upside down head }, Yoda Plushy then expounds " Here you are, because like us you are.. Out Cast by choice, You are, Never to love as a Jedi or Hate as a Sith are you, Hmm yess. Misfit you are.. "
Kaz'Par the Gray is annoyed at his own words being used against him but none the less allows the ill made Bennie bag toy to continue, " Our Fates inter twined they are..None of us my leave this planet until Master Claus is free
The Holiday spirits demand it , They do Hmm Yess".
Kaz' protests "Look, you want me to rescue this Claus guy &, I, ah, I'm not even sure I believe any of this holiday spirit crap.."
Plushy Yoda beckons the Out Cast closer & in a spooky voice insists " You will, You, Will... "
Kaz' waves that Hokey poockus bit off & heads toward the winter palace * Now visible above the tree tops *
saying " OK, what ever I'll try. "
Plushy Yoda advises " There is no try. Only do or Do Not.."
With out turning around Kaz'Par raise 1 insistent finger & calls back " Y'all push'n it M8 ! " & continues on to the palace muttering " Mouthy little green Hacky Sack....."
~ * Kaz'Par*The Gray * ~ Is a 1 man assault force as he force suggests Meany to of the Storm trooper guards to either kill them selves or turn their weapons against their fellow troopers.. Even so, a laser light show ensues as blasters are fired at the Out Cast Bounty hunter only to be reflected back into the firers.
more than 100 fall be for Kaz' finally enters the main hall where he sees the fat bearded man in red, tided to the thrown, with only 1 more obstacle blocking his path...
The legendary Dark Lord of the Sith * Darth Vader * Himself...
4 more storm troopers rush in from side chambers but are dismissed by a wave of the Dark lords hand..
Vader complements " Most impressive, Gray walker ..
Kaz'Par silently makes a small bow, never talking his eyes off the dark lord..
Vader commands " Join me. Your talents could be used to serve the Empire & with Santa's work shop at our disposal we will rule the Universe."
The Out Cast makes a simple gesture & the ropes that bond Santa Clause drop to the floor as Kaz'Par replays to the Dark Lords offer " Thanks, but I'd look silly in a crown & I'm really more into self service.. So I guess me & the fat man will just be on our way ."
Darth Vader ignites his Light Saber & challenges " How unfortunate, Now you will learn the true power of the Dark Side.."
Kaz'Par signals that he is prepared with a off handed salute with a Light Saber boomerang & states " I walk that line every day, But do as you must ,, Lord Vader..."
The battle that follows is a clash of balanced furry.. Force powers, sweeping acrobatic tumbles & slashing blades are matched & countered move for move. Until it all becomes to much for the Ultra Peace loving Santa to stand.
* Master Clause Commands in a resounding Voice " STOP ! "
The man in reds voice held such power, the 2 combatants halted in a cautious armistice..
Santa " Shouts I will have no more blood shed over me & especially Not on this night !"
The Large Man in red then closes his eyes & evokes the Spirit of Holidays Past..
A warm light engulfs the Dark Lord of Sith & for a moment the mechanical components of his body are bypassed & his Human heart beats again without the aid of technology & he remembers * A desert planet where a bright young boy served as a slave & on 1 special holiday received the unexpected & anonymous gift of a core processor that would become the virtual Heart of a droid named CP3P-O, & for 1 fleeting moment he was a Sky-Walker again..
*The Spell broken * More or less * Darth Vader simply turns & stomps out of the Great Hall with his Troopers in tow saying only " Another time... "
All the misfit toys found loving homes by the light of that Holidays full moon, But at their parting Plushy Yoda paused to ask the the Jolly Old Nick, "What of Kaz'Par ?, Where will he find a home.?.. Santa just smiled & laughed an understanding " HO Ho ho, Don't you worry for him... He is a True Disciple of the Gray Path.. For him the lonely walk about is home.. But you were right my plushy friend.. For a moment at least, he did believe..
Kaz'Par finds himself aboard the Black Naboo, in his bed, unsure of all but 1 thing as he says..
" No more Death styck fo me, ever again...
& this time, I mean it.
