Sabulana
Wandering Spirit
Pubs O' the world Beware !
Posts: 127
|
Post by Sabulana on Mar 22, 2005 8:56:35 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by GhostWriter on Mar 22, 2005 18:37:27 GMT -5
Wellcome to the Asylum Sabulana As one who also carters to a host of voices I find it hard to judge. But as you demanded I shall try.. I enjoyed the first paragraph most. {The interplay between the first 2 children & their aunt} We were aloud to get a feel for the craracters " Beyond their physical characteristics ". However, I have to say Whith no hurtful intent . Once you take us to to Basement, It soon became more of a Role Call.. * I'd say as a loose draft it is a good start. If I may suggest I would say the other characters introductions might have been better spread out ? As is, it just seemed a bit rushed.. But by all means please contenue the story ? Such a diverse group of characters is bound to be epic.
|
|
|
Post by CASPER on Mar 23, 2005 12:08:36 GMT -5
[/img] Ye know I love all the voices in yer head Stab-Bunny Please contenue with your Basement tale [/center]
|
|
Sabulana
Wandering Spirit
Pubs O' the world Beware !
Posts: 127
|
Post by Sabulana on Mar 24, 2005 5:13:42 GMT -5
Okay. Thanks for the feedback!
GhostWriter, I shall keep your comments in mind if I decide to go back and improve it some day. ^_^
Edit: Just posted the next chapter.
|
|
|
Post by CASPER on Mar 24, 2005 21:46:47 GMT -5
[/img] Sounds like it's gonna be a Darker version of " Fosters Home for imaginary friends." Please write more soon ![/center]
|
|
|
Post by CASPER on May 13, 2005 12:32:37 GMT -5
So how goes the story Stab-Bunny ?
|
|