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Post by CASPER on Jul 13, 2006 13:31:52 GMT -5
These are actual police officer quotes collected at numerous
moving violations.
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going.
I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.
We used to have quotas,
but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Warning! You want a warning?
Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"In God we trust,
all others are suspects."
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Post by Midge Magic on Feb 1, 2008 11:26:48 GMT -5
Hahahaha...... Thanks the laugh, I really needed it.
I have a cop joke, but it comes with a warning...
It's a little Politically Incorrect...
Probably only a really old lady could get away with telling it these days. 
"The Helpful Wife"
A male driver is pulled over by a cop.
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk. |
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Post by CASPER on Feb 13, 2008 13:34:46 GMT -5
Hahahaha...... Thanks the laugh, I really needed it.
I have a cop joke, but it comes with a warning...
It's a little Politically Incorrect...
Probably only a really old lady could get away with telling it these days.
"The Helpful Wife"
A male driver is pulled over by a cop.
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk. OMF'n GAWD ! Yer a wrong minded thing ain't ya Never EVER change I love it ! |
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